February 2020
My third Pop-up Prose reading happened in the Moscow Video Co-op, and the theme was “Screen Memories". This essay is processing my at-the-time very recent decision to go by Fran instead of Patrick. It's reading that together with my recent watch of Frances Ha.
I think I really inadvertantly captured a fitfullness that I was feeling with intensity at the time of not being sure what to do with myself but knowing that I was feeling a dissatisfaction or disappointment. I talk about the messiness of trying to be seen online, working through being scared of being seen by the people I want to be seen by most (I looked up at Abigail and she was smiling back at me), cranberry bog feelings, lesbianism, allowing myself to utilize what I have access to, conversations with my dad, sex marker changes, and claiming space as my own.
Get in contact if you'd like to read it.